oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
