Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
