Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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