I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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