We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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