If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
