nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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