Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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