it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
