you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
that may or may not have been my penis.
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