I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
