I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
