i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
