i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
