My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
