is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
