Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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