I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
foreskin is a definite game changer
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
