I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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