Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
