Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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