i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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