how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
