Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
