honey bunches of taint.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
