Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
