Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize