you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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