You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
