someone owes me an orgasm
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
