nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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