wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
