At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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