I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize