Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
