Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
