it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
