You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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