The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
