Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
