im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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