No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
