So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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