these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
