She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
