You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
