Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
