ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
