The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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