wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
