I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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