i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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