there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
