Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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