Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize