No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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