i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
