Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
