Pants 0. Shit 1.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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