R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
