I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize