Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
