doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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