New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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