i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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