I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
