Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
