I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
