YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
