My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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